Grief
I'm witnessing my life as I've known it gently and slowly dissembling around me. It doesn't always feel gentle or slow and I'm not quite sure what I mean about me being in the middle, because my idea of me is also gently and slowly dissembling. It's awful sometimes and exciting others and I can usually feel my feet on the earth and the sky in my breath and this swirling is both welcome and terrible. Many things are happening: I am grieving. My dear friend died. Not unexpected and really, her death was joyful and peaceful and illustrated in no uncertain terms how much a part of living death is. But in the end, she is still dead, and I am still grieving, not in the least because somehow, in the time leading up to her death, I forgot how precious our time together was. I somehow forgot that she was dying. I didn't trust her to be able to hold things for me or for me to be able to hold things for her and now... now is too late. How could I have forgotten? And it