honest brave compassionate human being

I've spent the last two weeks visiting my brother, who lives in Amsterdam. I live in Portland, Oregon. I spent the entire first part of my flight, the flight from Amsterdam to Frankfurt, crying, because I am heartbroken to be so far away from him, and heartbroken that it was special that we got to be together, and heartbroken that I don't know when I'll see him again, and heartbroken that it's the longest we've spent together since he was eight and I was seventeen. I am heartbroken that although he is the family member who lives furthest from me, the family member who lives closest to me is still over a thousand miles away. And that even were I to give up the things I'm willing to give up to be closer to my family (my job, my house, some of the community I've developed living in Portland), it wouldn't be enough because the rest of my family would still live hours and hours away by car or plane. We live so far away for ordinary reasons, and I am ang

I am confronting a work situation and trying to pull out what is mine and what is everyone else's. I am working on boundaries. I am noticing this person inside me who is so scared to get in trouble. I keep asking her, "What is it like to get in trouble? What happens to you? Why is it the most terrible?" but she, so far, doesn't answer. I think she's afraid of getting in trouble. But since I don't know what getting in trouble is like for her, I can't reassure her that she won't get in trouble. Instead, I keep inviting her to tell me about it. I keep telling her that I'll be here, and she can come sit with me. She doesn't have to talk. She can just sit with me. If she does want to talk, then I'll listen, and she can sit with me and talk as much as she needs to and I'll just keep listening. This person has been very present to me lately. I notice that she's with me almost constantly sometimes. Last night, it was her dream I had: